KEYS TO HIS PLACE... Hmmm?

My two cats once hated each other when first introduced,
(and also for the firs two years they were "getting to know one another.)

Wait! What in hell does that have to do with my love life, if at all?

But in time, with my cats, they realized that they need each other,
for whatever reasons, whether to save themselves from boredom,
or to be able to blame one broken vase on the other... cat.

Oh, anyway...

It's the opposite for human beings, though right?

With humans, it's awesome at first, am I wrong?
You know, the sniffing butts and chasing tail part...
but then after the first few days, weeks, months or years (depending on individuals' situations...)
the infatuation dies and so does that love, or as I like to call it, "the sex!"

(And so does everything good in-between.

Then.. it just gets awkward. Right?

"Should I give her the key to my place?" turns into,
"FUCK! I GAVE HER THE KEY TO MY PLACE!"

"Kisha... girrrrl...the SHIT that MAN is capable OF ! " (Turns into,)
"Kisha! You would not believe what that asshole did !!!"

.. Dammit all, I wish we were REALLY like animals,
I wish I didn't feel compelled to give him back his key.

I wish that we could continue licking one another as if no one's watching.

RELATIONSHIPS... or BATTLESHIPS?

Why in hell do we still pursue calling these... inconveniences, these casualties, "relationships," when the two can not relate.

So far, they have proven to be nothing more or less than battleships;

Taking what isn't theirs,
Fighting because they're convinced that they should fight.
In the end, too many wind up dead.

What a typical chick posting, huh? (Fuck!)

HE'S CREATED A MONSTER !

If trying means that I try too hard, then I'm guilty.
If loving you is annoying... call me FEMALE.
If giving up makes you wanna come back, I quit.
If sticking around to try to make this work makes YOU give up, I'll run away.
You have created a monster!

TH SANDS OF TIME

(I wrote this one in the third grade...)


THE SANDS OF TIME
ARE WASTING AWAY,
YET, ( I ) STILL AWAKE
TO FACE ANOTHER DAY.

THOSE SANDS, ONE DAY
WILL EVENTUALLY RUN OUT...

BUT ( I ) WON'T BE LEFT IN-DOUBT.

I'LL TURN COLD,
THEN FADE AWAY...
ONLY TO BE REMEMBERED, ( I ) HOPE,
SOMEDAY.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON... OR SO I THINK.

Whether ya just lost your job, or lost a lover, or a loved one...

HOW WE ACT AND REACT HAS A CAUSE, AND AN EFFECT
AND WE ALL HAVE FREE WILL, OR SO I AM TOLD.

GO GET YOURS ALREADY!

... or at least TRY.

HOW LUCKY I AM !!! ( vs.) HOW LUCKY AM I ???

PEOPLE ! WAKE UP ! STOP BITCHING! ...(Shit, wow, should that have been the title of this "blog," or what?

No, really. In all sincerity, how fucking lucky ARE YOU? Take a few minutes, or hours... or even days to reach the conclusion. It ain't science, folks. It's common sense. Wait! common sense ain't too common. I'm gonna prepare another statement now; IT'S intuition!

STOP BITCHING: about how you don't have what you want and just and go get what it is that you want, already.

BE THANKFUL: for what you DO have and allow these things that you have to be your strength when pursuing the attainment of all the many things that you CAN HAVE.

... that's all I will have to say about that. For now.

SET ONLY 2 GOALS PER DAY... AND YOU'LL END UP GETTING SHIT DONE !

I have also realized that my life had become... un-lived. So to speak. (Okay, let me attempt to make some sense here...)

I saw only very recently that I was drowning in a sea of crumpled up post-it notes that never even made it into the trash bin beneath my desk... I have been THAT LAZY. I was validating my life by writing these daily to-do lists, but nothing was getting checked off on them. I figured that just because I took the time to write down what I wanted and needed to get done... that everything was somehow gonna be just fine.

But that had to stop.

I decided that the best way to actually get things done was not to write a LIST of things to do, but to just begin doing things. Mentally and physically set forth to do only, at the very minimum of just 2 goals per day. And no, I do not mean, " TAKE SHOWER, EAT." Two LIFE- ALTERING goals. For example, "make amends with someone I had unintentionally hurt," "register car at DMV." And the next day it, (for me) will be, " go on a hike," "look into photography classes."

So. Every day will be about just DOING only TWO of the many many things that I want to get done this year. And folks, I am really just talking about me and what I have figured out works for (me.) But if anything... hopefully this vent will be of some help to someone else out there.

THE NEED FOR MAJOR CHANGE; (AND HERE GOES THAT PROCESS)

THE NEED FOR MAJOR CHANGE;
AND HERE GOES THAT PROCESS

Today I threw out all of my past writing. Not because I wanna forget about the past but because I need to move on. All my writing was in the past was a sea of woe is-me's. I didn't realize how much I was holding on to; old love letters and poems and songs I wrote for a man that I have been broken up with for almost 4 years now! A man that I stayed with for six more years after he had cheated on me with an ex of his the second year into our so called relationship. That's not all I sifted through and tossed. I found letters that I wrote to my father while he was still alive and never mailed to him. What in the fuck was my subconscious up to? I found letter upon letter that my mother wrote to me over the last almost eleven years… letters I had never even bothered to read. So I read 'em.

I have been missing out on life altering opportunities by holding on to things that don't matter and not embracing the things, (and people)… that DO. I have attached myself to people and bars that don't care about me and got fat and sad and angry from that.

My apartment is a mess because I have made a mess of my life. I took the bigger view of my apartment this morning and saw, for the first time what I was as a human being. WHERE I was… in my life.

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