Me, My cats and I...

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a man that will date you knowing that you have a cat here in L.A.? Well, I have TWO cats, and it's fucking DIFFICULT to find a guy to want to date me (because) I have cats.

What's so wrong with cats, anyway, ya DOG-PEOPLE ?

... Okay... you don't have to WALK them three times a day, or train them, they kinda just KNOW where they are assigned to shit and piss. Sure, you gotta scoop their poop and pee-clumpers, but you have to bag your dog's shit, too! (Which in turn ... turns otherwise recyclable bags into non-recyclable bags... douchebags.

With CATS: You can leave a but-load of dry food and a huge bowl of water out and take off for the weekend to wherever, without worrying who is, or paying who is feeding them. (They're good tuh go.)

You also don't have to worry about people stealing your cat/s: NO ONE LIKES CATS, REMEMBER?

People always say, " ...well, cats scratch you!" (Well, yeah, if you are mean to them, and don't clip their nails regularly, you idiots!)

Cat's get hair on your clothing! (Well, hang your shit up and keep the rest in drawers, you lazy bums.) Otherwise, cuddle with them in your cat-cuddling attire, not your fine-pressed dry-cleaned suit, dumb-ass.

You also do not have to bathe cats... they bathe themselves.

Cats lay on your lap... dogs sniff your crotch and try to hump you... I have witnessed female dogs do this, too, so there.


In closing, no matter what douchbag I end up dating... it's always ME, my cats and I.